When Rob and his wife headed out to celebrate Sukkot in Israel, they had no idea that the attacks by Hamas on 7th October would lead to them extending their stay indefinitely: “We were supposed to leave on the 9th, but of course by then we were facing a completely different situation, and our flight was cancelled. Not knowing what was coming or what was next, we delayed it another week. Towards the end of that week, we knew the next flight would be cancelled anyway, and we just decided that we would stay indefinitely.” This situation is a familiar one to many whose friends and family were visiting Israel when the attack began, but Rob and his wife have an extra reason to want to stay.
Rob’s two children: his son Gidon, and daughter Ma’ayan, are both currently serving in the IDF: “My son is in a combat unit deployed in the south, and my daughter is in a combat unit deployed in the north, helping to evacuate communities and doing various other things.”
Ray and Ed, former Whitefield residents now living in Israel, also have children in the IDF: “Our daughter, Evie, is a Spokesperson in the International Press office of the IDF, situated near Tel Aviv – she is home once or twice a week, which is reassuring for us. She was called into her office on the Shabbat morning of the terror attack and for the ensuing three days she had to deal first hand with the news of what had happened before it was released to the public, and she was privy to images, videos, and facts which no 19-year-old-girl should ever have to witness. By the afternoon of the attack, she already knew that over a thousand people had been killed, and that the number of hostages taken was a very high number, and the following days were very hard for her to cope with the facts. Her boyfriend was called to the Gaza front on the Sunday afternoon to secure the border and told her he had to run across fields strewn with hundreds of dead bodies of the young Israeli party goers who had been murdered. He is also 19. These are the images that will be imprinted on their minds forever. This is the adolescence they will talk about in the future. It makes me very worried for this generation of Israeli kids. When I was their age, my only worry was getting up on time in the morning for a university lecture.”
While maintaining communication lines in times of conflict is far from simple, Rob has still been able to keep in touch with his children: “We got a last-minute call from my daughter saying: ‘You can come visit
me if you want, we’re moving out soon.’
So, we gathered up all the bits and pieces she wanted up to take to her and ran off to where she was staying. They keep moving around every few days, so they were using the local country club to shower. There were people bringing in food, parents opening up the boots of their cars with freshly cooked cholent inside.”
Contacting Gidon, however, has been a little trickier: “We have had opportunities to speak with my son, but because he’s in a fighter unit they don’t have their phones with them all the time. But in the last week we’ve had a call every night. Before that we didn’t hear from him for about a week.”
Similarly Ray and Ed’s son is also on the frontlines: “Our son Eli is 28. He is in a Sayeret – a commando unit – and trained in a number of specialist fields. He was called up on the morning of the attack, returning from a camping trip ‘up north’ with his army friends. He arrived home by Shabbat lunchtime, and we were able to feed him quickly before he had to head off to meet the rest of his army team. We are Shomer Shabbat, but like tens of thousands of others who observe, I had to jump in my car and take him to Tel Aviv. The motorway was packed with small cars full of soldiers driving at breakneck speed to get down south and to the front, ready to fight – it was heartbreaking to see. I dropped him off and didn’t even have time to say goodbye or to bless him. That was the last time I saw him – as I write, 16 days ago. We now get a WhatsApp message from him daily as he only has his phone for half an hour a day. All we live for at the moment is that one message just to say Ha’col beseder – everything’s fine. We don’t know exactly where he is, and we don’t know exactly what he is doing – maybe it is better that way. Eli is a tough kid, tall, well-built, and fearless. He spent several months on regular missions into Syria when Isis were active on the Israeli border, so I know he can handle himself. But I am absolutely worried sick for him, struggle to sleep, and I jump at even the slightest noise – I guess my nerves are frayed, and I’ve never been a nervous person.”
It isn’t only the welfare of their own children that Ray and Ed are concerned about: “I worry about all my friends’ kids too – not one of our friends doesn’t have one kid or more serving in the IDF so it’s hard for all of us to get on with our normal lives. We, like our friends, are helping with the war effort by preparing food for the soldiers, buying provisions for them, doing the laundry for displaced families from the south, raising money for those in need, and it’s a tragic but welcome distraction. Everybody is consumed by the events of the last two weeks, and fearful of what it means for our children. The days seem to drag on forever. It sounds so dramatic I know, but every Israeli understands this fight is an existential one – nothing less – but we dare not speak about it, about the unthinkable. It would be much easier if we could worry about whether our kids are going to be a doctor, or a dentist, or when they are going to find a partner, or all those tiny, trivial questions that now seem so wonderful. Now the only question I have for our kids is ‘are you safe?’”
Having children serving in such a turbulent crisis evokes a range of emotions in any parent, as Rob explains: “It’s terrifying but I’m monumentally proud of them. They went into the army before there was a war going on, and they went because they’re highly motivated to be in the defence forces defending the homeland. They always felt very deeply connected to Israel. They were both born here. We left early but maintained a very strong connection to Israel throughout their lives.”
Rob was also able to offer a perspective on the resilience of the people living in Israel during this crisis: “It’s not that easy to continue properly day-to-day. People are just getting on as best they can. Everyone’s affected. The mood is the same everywhere. It’s a deeply traumatic time. But people have that wartime spirit. People are kinder and are helping each other.”
#bringthemhome